


Of ice hockey sticks and feelings

by softjohndae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: (so is yukhei), Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Ice hockey!Au, M/M, Minor Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas/Kim Jungwoo, other members are mentioned, the main focus is on yukheis and marks friendship, this is a mess sorry, yukhei gets his ass kicked so theres blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 09:58:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13949166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softjohndae/pseuds/softjohndae
Summary: The smell in their locker room was an indescribable mixture of sweat, feet and ass. Yeah, ass.





	Of ice hockey sticks and feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hoesthetic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoesthetic/gifts).



> The ice hockey 'fuckboys' au no one asked for (Andy did). The focus is on Mark's and Yukhei's friendship with some side relationships so don't expect any markhei and I really don't know anything about ice hockey but yeh I hope you enjoy!

”Alright, training’s over, boys! Now get your nasty sweaty asses in the showers!” Yukhei pulled the mask off of his face and unstrapped his helmet. He skated to the side of the ice rink, lunged an arm around his best friend Mark, who was from head to toe in goaltender’s attire.  
”Great game, bud. We’re gonna be fire at the end of the season.” Mark handed Yukhei his guards. The boy snapped them on before helping Mark since he had the goal pads on and couldn’t properly bend. The reason for Mark’s unusually sore legs was not the pads, though, but the fact that their main coach was sick and his annoyingly perfectionist son as known as Johnny Seo as known as the Biggest Dick (not in a nice way) had been watching over their practice. Seo was only inches away from being in the national team, and he showed it by being merciless on his juniors, especially keeping an eye on Yukhei and Mark since Yukhei played a center and Mark was the goaltender. Okay, maybe he breathed down everyone’s necks but Yukhei just felt like Johnny was constantly after his ass. 

The smell in their locker room was undescribable mixture of sweat, feet and ass. Yeah, ass. No wonder ice hockey players lost their ability to smell at some point. Yukhei slogged to his place and pulled his helmet off, brown hair a sweaty mess. Mark was right after him, trying to get out of all of his equipment. The locker room felt quite small with twelve disgusting teenage boys occupying it.  
”Alright, gents. No matter what does the Big Dick say, you did pretty good today! If we keep this up, we’re gonna beat everyone and get that gold cup back to us and Yukhei’s gonna end up in the national’s and we all know he wants there so we better work our asses off!” their captain shouted over the noisy boys. Park was a gift from gods above, he was always supportive and positive even when they had bad games. Yukhei cheered along with the other players with the biggest smile on his lips. Yeah. He wanted in the national team. He was a quite recognised player on the nation’s level, but he was a little behind the junior league’s skills. And he was going to be too old for the junior team soon anyway, so the national team was his goal. Maybe one day. 

Yukhei tore his protectors off, helped Mark with his goal jock which had got stuck again (”No homo tho.” ”Shut up bitch and help me.”) and took his skates off. After that he quickly undressed himself and moved to the showers (”Christ, Wong, you smell!” ”Like you don’t, Jaemin.”). He washed the horrible smell of sweat off of himself, almost threw the shampoo bottle on Mark’s head accidentally and got back to his locker. Clothes on (white shirt and black jeans and a pair of Adidas Superstars), an Anaheim Ducks cap on along with the team’s winter bomber jacket. Yukhei reached for his phone, and opened it to a text from Jungwoo. ’You missed. Again. You’re never getting out of high school at this rate.’ read the text and Yukhei grimaced at his phone before stuffing it back to his pocket. He threw all of his hockey stuff in his huge black sportsbag before slinging it on his shoulder along with his hockey stick. The good friend like he was, he waited for Mark who was going to go with the same bus as him. And why the hell wouldn’t he wait for his best friend? 

They walked out of the locker room and the indoor ice rink hall to the fresh air.  
”Man that Seo guy sucks.” Mark voiced his opinion and kicked some snow that had clustered into a pile.  
”Yeah. But he’s good. And he has high standards, higher than his dad.” Yukhei answered. His phone buzzed again, and he was pretty sure it was Jungwoo. That kid just couldn’t let him be.  
”True. But he supports Chicago Blackhawks, tho.”  
”Which are more succesful than the Ducks.” Yukhei reminded Mark.  
”…True. Why are we still supporting Ducks?”  
”Because they’re still the best and your Canadian ass refuses to go for the Mapleleafs and I think Ducks are simply the best.” The two boys reached the bus stop, Yukhei fished his buscard out of his pocket along with his phone, which had vibrated a couple of times now. He frowned and finally opened the messages.  
”The tutor guy?” Mark asked, a glint of concern in his eyes. He was a bit worried about his friend, if he was being honest.  
”Yeah.” 

The bus arrived and the two buddies jumped on board.  
”Maybe you should go to his lessons, you know. You gotta get out of school so you can get into big leagues.” Mark was always a little careful when talking about school with Yukhei. He got annoyed about the topic pretty quickly (and Mark knew it was because Yukhei didn’t consider himself particularly smart in school and that was the reason he didn’t have any kind of motivation in anything school related except for sports) and as Mark had expected, he only earned himself a shrug of shoulders.  
”I’ll figure something out. I always do.” Mark simply rolled his eyes.  
”You should apologize that Jungwoo guy, tho.”  
”Why? Not my fault he always schedules our meetings over my hockey practice.” Despite his words Yukhei was writing a response to his tutor whom the school had assigned him. ’Sorry. Hockey practice. I’ll be there tomorrow’ and sent the text to Jungwoo. It was funny how the boy was scolding him through the messages but once Yukhei actually bothered to show up to the lesson, Jungwoo was always a stuttering and blushing mess. Yukhei just for the life of him couldn’t figure out why. Maybe Jungwoo was just a little shy. 

”Park’s throwing a party this saturday. Are you in?” The bus was full, Yukhei and Mark had to stand in the middle console. Some old grandma looked at them angrily since their bags took at least two spots in the crowded bus. Mark lifted his gaze from his phone.  
”Uhh.. I- uhh. I don’t know yet.” Yukhei quirked an eyebrow at his shorter friend and grinned;  
”What do you mean you don’t know yet. Since when have you had other friends besides me?” Mark snorted but averted his gaze from Yukhei.  
”I don’t. But you know, the finals are approaching and some of us actually have to study. Some of us aren’t going to get scholarships.”  
”That’s one bullshit excuse but okay. Just tell me how your date goes then.”  
”He- I’m not going on a date!” Mark lightly pushed Yukhei’s shoulder. The taller laughed and pushed back.  
”Okay, okay, fine, whatever! But you have missed at least two parties now and the Mark Lee I know usually likes to be where the action happens.”  
”Mmhh, I know, I know, I promise I’ll show up at the next ones.” Yukhei rolled his eyes. 

He had noticed, yeah. Mark had been acting strange lately, he wasn’t as bubbly as usual and he avoided Yukhei. Well, he didn’t exactly avoid him, but he had missed a few parties. And he was more glued to his phone than normally. And he didn’t look Yukhei in the eye when Yukhei confronted him about his plans for the weekend. And he didn’t talk about girls, which was the weirdest part, since Mark was pretty damn popular among the female population of their high school, and just last month he had had an eye for someone ”with red hair and pretty eyes”. 

They continued their light banter, talking about the chick Yukhei had flirted with last weekend continuing to the new hockey helmets and shirts Bauer had put out recently. Soon Mark left the bus, he waved at his friend and Yukhei slumped against the window and waved back, still taking at least two spots from the bus. Yukhei lived only a couple of blocks away from Mark, so not that far. They went to the same school, they hung out everywhere together and some romanticizers would say they were the troublemakers. Except that Mark was the smart one and Yukhei was way too easily persuaded to do stupid things, so technically Yukhei was the only troublemaker. He just always pulled Mark along. 

Soon Yukhei also left the bus, made his way to his house. His parents weren’t home, no surprises there. They never were these days. Last time Yukhei saw his dad was three weeks ago and the man had had lipstick stains on the neck of his dress shirt. His mother was away for work. Neither of them really talked to Yukhei apart from some ”How are things going?”-texts. He didn’t really mind, though. He was used to being alone, just doing his own thing. The only thing that kept him from moving on his own was the money. 

The tall boy opened the front door and went inside. His, their, house was rather big. Not a luxurious one, though, but it was in a pretty good area and had two storeys and a pretty nice small garden. The interior was filled with creamy colors and white, as is mother had insisted. Yukhei didn’t understand why they lived in such a big house when he was the only one home anyway but hey, he couldn’t really complain. At least he didn’t live in some crappy-ass apartment building with no space at all.  
”Anyone home?” he yelled, knowing well he wouldn’t get an answer and took his shoes off. He dropped his bag on the floor along with his cap and jacket and made his way to the kitchen. Some pizza boxes were stacked on the table. Yukhei really wasn’t the one to cook. Nor clean. Luckily they had a cleaner drop by every week. The boy grabbed some leftovers from the day before, moved to living room and plopped down on the sofa. He turned on the TV, browsed some channels but didn’t find anything to watch. 

This was the worst part of being alone in a big house. The silence. You could turn the TV and radio and other radio on but the silence would still be overpowering in Yukhei’s mind. He hated being alone. He was a social butterfly, he liked being around people, he liked being loud and annoying. Yeah, his best friend lived only a few blocks away but he had resided at his place a lot lately. And Mark’s parents weren’t so keen on him, and on top of it all his best friend was avoiding him for god knows what reason. Maybe Yukhei just had to give him some space. Yeah. They would see each other at school and hockey practice every day anyway. Fuck school, though. Honestly. And not in a ”ooooh I’m so cool, fuck school”-way but in a ”let me fucking get out of here” -way. Yukhei knew he wasn’t book smart, he didn’t learn things from solely reading, he learned things by doing and, well, you can’t ’do’ english grammar or theoretical physics. And that’s why his teachers had assigned him a tutor, Jungwoo, a first grade university student and a really bright kid. 

Well, the tutoring was a little helpful, Yukhei had to admit that. Jungwoo explained things thoroughly and let Yukhei take his time. Yukhei just… didn’t like the classes, if you could call them that. He had no any particular reason why he didn’t like them. He just didn’t. Okay, he maybe had a reason. And that reason was the annoying little stir in the pit of his stomach every goddamn time he saw Jungwoo’s face. He didn’t know, what the hell was that little stir and he did not want to find out. So he just avoided the lessons all he could. Sadly, he couldn’t pass them all the time, and tomorrow he didn’t have any practice, so he had to go to the lesson at the library and look at Jungwoo’s stupid face till he understood some basic mathematics. School sucked. And Yukhei sucked at school. And he hated this silence and empty feeling and Mark for being so distant lately. 

 

* * *

 

”Sorry, the bus was late”, Yukhei mumbled and dropped his backpack next to his seat on the school library table. Jungwoo gazed at him doubtfully, knowing damn well Yukhei just hadn’t bothered to lift his ass up from the couch early enough. The tall boy sat down and pulled his maths book from his backpack.  
”Soooo… what are we learning today mister tutor?” Yukhei grinned at the older boy, who had a small blush on his face. Yukhei was pretty sure the blush was permanent or some shit like that, because his cheeks and tips of his ears were always red. Maybe he had a skin condition or something. Or it was because of the cold.  
”Uhh.. some geometry. Nothing too difficult.” Yukhei snorted. Maths and not being difficult didn’t exactly go hand in hand in his vocabulary. The older boy took his notes and started explaining Yukhei the equations. 

Jungwoo had a soft and quiet voice. Quite the opposite to Yukhei, whose voice always rose a few decibels when he couldn’t understand something and got frustrated. And then Jungwoo had to shush him since they were in the library. Jungwoo always insisted to meet in the library, when the café near the main doors would have been a thousand times better in Yukhei’s opinion. But his opinion didn’t really matter in this case.  
”But… but how do I get that from that and where the hell does that number come from?” The best thing about Jungwoo was that he didn’t get annoyed with Yukhei, instead he explained the same thing over and over again until Yukhei understood it, without any eyerolls or sighs. Yukhei really appreciated that.  
”Just, uhh, divide this with this.. and then… yeah, and then divide that with this. And...” Jungwoo had this habit of circling the numbers with his pen and doing some little marks all over Yukhei’s book. Some numbers had five circles around them. He also had this habit of biting the inner skin of his lower lip, Yukhei had noticed. He always noticed these kind of little things in people. And Jungwoo was qute easy to observate since he always dived straight to the subject and didn’t stop talking until he was done, every now and then checking whether Yukhei was still following him. And he didn’t notice anything else once he got completely immersed in the topic. Hell, a bomb would drop next to them and Jungwoo would still be talking about the equations in basic geometry. It was kind of endearing. No wait no-.

”Are you listening?” Jungwoo’s eyes had turned to Yukhei and he was staring right back at him.  
”I- uh- yea-h, could you, like, repeat the part where you... said… all the... things?” Yukhei flashed a little apologetic smile at his tutor, who turned his gaze away almost immediately.  
”Y-yeah s-so.. pay attention. Y-you need to divide this with that...” Oooh no, Yukhei had just got lost in thoughts while staring at Jungwoo. And that disgusting ugly little stir was there in the pit of his stomach again. And why was he thinking of Jungwoo anyway? Yeah he was a nice dude, that’s it. Not the kind of person Yukhei liked to hang out with. Way too silent and calm and boring. Yeah, way too boring. And… endearing. 

 

* * * 

 

Yukhei was bat-shit drunk. He stared at himself at the bathroom mirror, leaned against the sink and tried to get his thoughts together. Those tequila shots had definitely been a mistake. And guess who had also showed up at the party? That’s right, his ex. Who had slapped him the minute she noticed Yukhei (which wasn’t that hard considering he was having a drinking game in the middle of the living room and there was a hollering circle around him and his friend Jaehyun). And then Yukhei had got slapped, and now his left cheek was burning, and right after the slap Yukhei had noticed Jungwoo standind in one of the corners with some friends of his. And because he was a dumb fuck, of course he had abandoned everything in that second and went to him with that signature grin of his (”Hey, Jungwoo, my man, my saviour with puppy eyes!”) and slunged an arm around his shoulders and Jungwoo had practically panicked because along with Yukhei came the spotlight. 

And now Yukhei was staring at himself in the mirror, and he was so fucking drunk and why the hell did he do that? And why was Jungwoo here? And why did Yukhei give a shit about why was Jungwoo here and why did he feel embarassed about chugging three beers in a row in front of his very eyes and oh my god was that a vomit making it’s way up Yukhei’s throat? The boy heaved over the toilet seat and threw up all of the contents of his stomach down the toilet. When he was done he leaned back and pressed his head against the wall behind him. God he was shit-faced. Yukhei fished his phone from his jeans pocket and dialed Mark’s number.  
”C’mon, pick up, please pick up.” he mumbled, hands shaking a little. He felt weak.  
”Evening, bro, no I’m not going to join you at the party” Mark’s voice filled Yukhei’s senses. It was kind of soothing, Yukhei’s hands didn’t shake as bad anymore.  
”N-no, I just… could you… come pick me?” Yukhei stammered. He could swear he heard someone asking ’who’s there’ but it could just be his drunk state.  
”Now? It’s like 11pm.” Mark sounded a little annoyed and Yukhei bit his lower lip. His mouth tasted like shit and he felt even worse. And he hated to be the one asking things and showing any weakness and just… being like this.  
”Yeah. I know. I… I… I’m just… really drunk and the party isn’t that… fun.” Yukhei slurred. Mark sighed on the other side.  
”Are you alright?” his friend asked with concern laced in his voice. Not that Yukhei’s hazy mind could pick it up, he thought he was being a pain in the ass and ruining Mark’s night. Yukhei was silent for a moment.  
”…No.”  
”Okay, I’ll pick you up in half an hour. Don’t pass out.” 

The truth was that Yukhei hated vomiting, he hated feeling nauseous, he was afraid of throwing up. And when he did throw up, he got really anxious and wanted to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. Which, in most cases, resulted him to drinking more and passing out and waking up with a dick drawn to his forehead. If Mark would have been at the party, he would have done that, but now that he wasn’t… well, thank god the boy had got his driving license a few months ago. Yukhei didn’t know what made him so anxious or why he hated feeling nauseous so much, he didn’t have any traumas or that sort of things. He just did. And he was glad Mark understood the situation.  
”Thanks, bro. I owe you one.” 

 

* * *

 

”Man, you look like you’re still hungover”, Park laughed at Yukhei’s face. Yukhei didn’t laugh back, just grimaced at the team captain. He had a pair of not-so-beautiful bags under his eyes and he felt like he hadn’t slept in a decade. Which was partially true. He hadn’t slept the whole night, because he had been thinking. About Mark. And the reason his best friend acted so cold towards him. They had known each other for years now, they had told each other everything, but now Mark was hiding something and Yukhei couldn’t figure out what. And why. Yukhei had not-so-subtly tried to ask about it in the car but Mark had just given him the same explanation as always – the tests and he was tired. Yukhei didn’t buy it. He might have been shitfaced, but he did notice the hurry Mark had been in. 

And then he had been thinking about that fucking tutor guy. Yeah, he had sent him an apology for being a nosy ass person when drunk and Jungwoo still hadn’t replied. And the silence of his house had been even more unbearable than before. And Jungwoo and his stupid little smile and soft speech and giggles had occupied his night and god Yukhei was pissed at the moment. He didn’t understand why he was feeling this way and he was scared of it and he just wanted to talk but Mark refused to talk to him so Yukhei refused to talk to Mark. What a great pair of best friends!

Yukhei got his hockey equipment on, and once again helped Mark get his goalie pads on.  
”Thanks for picking me up on Saturday”, he muttered so that no one else could hear him.  
”No problem, man. Anything for my best pal.” Mark smiled back, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. Neither did Yukhei’s. He sat down and put his skates on before lacing them tight.  
”Let’s go, team, we have only a week for the first match. Jeno, Jaemin’s sick today so you’re taking his spot.” Park announced and the whole team left the locker room. 

Yukhei wouldn’t say he was an intimidating guy, but he was pretty damn scary with all the hockey equipment on. He was already hovering over everyone at six feet normally and the skates brought him even more height. His board shoulders looked twice as wide with the shoulder pads and elbow pads, and all the other padding made him look like a gentle human version of Hulk. Well, maybe not so gentle but his giggles were many pitched higher than his speaking voice. And he was always giggling, being the moodmaker of the team. The ice hockey rink was inside a huge hall, sponsors littered the fences going around the rink. Behind the barrier between the ice and stand rose many rows of chairs. Some of their own team’s succesful players’ shirts were hung from the ceiling. Yukhei wished he could have his own shirt hanging from there at some point. Soon the whole team was on ice and warming up as their coach walked in. Yukhei groaned, so did Jeno and Mark. Of course their own coach was still sick and the Big Dick was their watching over them again.  
”Alright, boys, you better show some real good game today or you’re going to regret it later.”

Needless to say, they didn’t show that real good game. Mark just couldn’t catch the damn puck, Yukhei almost crashed with his fellow team mates, Park accidentally smacked Jisung in the face with his stick (luckily the boy had a mask on) and Jeno’s head just wasn’t in the game. Could also be because he was used to playing defence, not forward.  
”Wong, what the fuck are you doing?” Seo shouted after he let the puck pass the nth time this evening. Yukhei sighed and earned himsef a light friendly push from their team captain. Park played defence, and he was doing good whereas everyone else was just clowning around. Not on purpose, though. Johnny was fed up with them and after the practice they had to speed skate around the rink for 20 times. Yukhei decided to put all of his frustration in the little sprint. 

Tired, sweaty and still annoyed Yukhei moved back to the locker room. The mood was down, the air wasn’t filled up with laughter and friendly insults as usually. Not a surprise since the games would start next weekend and everyone was just… off. Yukhei basically threw his helmet against his locker before banging his head against it.  
”Woah, there, big guy, it wasn’t that bad”, he heard Mark’s voice behind him.  
”Yeah it was.” he answered monotoneously.  
”Okay yes it was but we still have a whole week of practice before the match.”  
”Mmmh.” the taller answered passively. Shower, get dressed, wait for Mark, the usual routine and soon the two boys were out of the hall, bags and hockey sticks slung over their shoulders. 

”How’s it going with that tutor guy?” Mark opened the conversation. There was a thin ice between them and Yukhei hated it. They were best friends for gods sake. He shrugged his shoulders.  
”He’s cool. And I’ve actually learned something.” Mark smiled for the first time today.  
”But that’s great! Now you’ll at least get out of high school.” Yukhei snorted and kicked some snow. He stuffed his hands in his pockets when the cold air ran down his spine.  
”How was your weekend?” he asked, a little careful while keeping an eye on Mark. The shorter boy glanced at Yukhei with something in his eyes. Was it annoyance? Could be, since Yukhei was constantly bothering him. Or even fear? What the hell would Mark be so afraid of?  
”Normal. I just studied chem.”  
”Don’t lie to me.” Yukhei’s words left his lips before he actually had any time to think (why was he so damn impulsive?). Mark looked at him with a cocked eyebrow. The air between them turned more tense.  
”I’m not lying to you? I studied. Stayed in my room for the whole weekend.” Mark said. His head was tilted a little to the right, something he did when he was annoyed.  
”Fine.” Yukhei muttered. Their bus arrived. It wasn’t as full as usually, but they still chose to stand in the middle console. 

Both of the boys stayed quiet, Mark was typing a text and Yukhei was just glaring at him behind his own phone.  
”What’s your problem?” he opened is big mouth once again. Mark looked at him, eyebrows lifted and slight anger hovering over his features.  
”What do you mean what’s my problem? How long is it going to take to get into that big head of yours I was just studying!” Mark shot back and ran a hand through his brown hair.  
”I don’t mean last weekend. Why are you hiding things from me? You have been avoiding me for the past month!” Yukhei stared at his so-called best friend.  
”I’m not hiding anything from you!”  
”Bullshit.”  
”Seriously, Yukhei! What’s gotten into you? I know you’re under stress but you don’t need to take it out on me.” Mark had some sense in his words, and that annoyed Yukhei even more. He knew he took his frustration out on people if he couldn’t get it all out on ice. And maybe he had a point. Maybe Yukhei was just stressing and imagining things and his bestie wasn’t acting strange at all.  
”See you tomorrow, Yukhei.” Mark said nonchalantly and got out of the bus at his stop. Yukhei was left in the bus and he huffed, annoyed. Why was he such an ass? 

 

* * * 

 

His lesson with Jungwoo was over. The whole time he couldn’t focus on any physics because he was just staring at his tutor. What the ever-loving fuck was wrong with him? Why did he get that knot in the pit of his stomach and why did he feel his face heat up every single time he even thought about the boy with doe eyes and a shy smile. The fuck was he so goddamn cute for? Why did Yukhei think he was cute? What the fuck?! What on earth was going on in his mind and what? Just what? Yukhei was so lost and confused with himself and on top of it all, he had no one to talk to. Well, yeah, he had Mark but since the other didn’t tell Yukhei what was bothering him, Yukhei decided not to tell Mark anything. Payback’s a bitch. 

Yukhei turned around the corner and marched down the hallway. He had accidentally left his phone charger in the locker rooms of the school gymnasium. The lights were still on, indicating that someone was still using the locker rooms, which was quite odd since it was Friday and the clock was over six in the evening. Yukhei swung the door open and was met with the most bizarre view of his entire life. 

Mark. With his tongue down that student counsil secretary’s throat. Who was also their sports commentator. 

The two boys before him detached from one another in the speed of light, and soon two pairs of eyes were staring back at Yukhei, whose jaw had dropped down to the ground. He was bewildered.  
”What the-”  
”I- u, we… I- um...” Mark faltered. Yukhei didn’t have any words, and apparently neither did two of the boys. Who had. Just been. Kissing. Mark. And this. Boy. Donghyuck, Yukhei recalled.  
”I… Ima just… uhhh take my… charger…. Yeah.” Yukhei stammered and quickly took his charger from the bench next to Mark and returned to the door.  
”Yukhei?” Mark’s voice shook a little. Yukhei just stared at him like he had never known Mark in his entire life.  
”Just. Continue with... whatever you were doing.” He said coldly, turned away and hurled the door close.  
”Yukhei!” he heard Mark’s voice behind him before he dashed down the hallway and out of the front doors.

Yukhei felt so utterly and completely betrayed. His best friend had lied to him. About every. Fucking. Thing. He had lied about everything for the past months. ”Yeah I’ve got nobody” ”I was just studying” ”I don’t feel like partying” What a bunch of fucking bullshit. Yukhei was so angry. He was furious. Fuming. Mark had lied to him. His best friend had lied to him. What was that promise made in the third grade of telling each other everything, always, no matter what? Yukhei had lived by it. He had always told Mark everyhing. And Mark had just given him a pile of horse shit. Yukhei felt tears pricking his eyes and furiously he wiped them away, he wasn’t going to cry because of this, he wasn’t a fucking crybaby. 

The tears just weren’t because of anger, though. Nor they were because of betrayal. Yukhei felt so damn horrible. Why hadn’t his best friend told him about this? Did Mark fear something. There sure had been fear in his eyes when Yukhei had caught the two of them right in the act. Was it because Mark liked a boy? Yeah, sure, Yukhei had always been… straight. And maybe he had assumed all of his friends were too, but Mark just… hadn’t really said anything. Ever. Nor they had talked about… being... gay. So why hadn’t Mark told him? It wasn’t like Yukhei had anything against gay people! There just wasn’t any on his friend circle. Or maybe there were. They just didn’t talk about it. My god was he stupid. Really fucking dumb. A real headass. He was such a bad best friend. He didn’t deserve Mark. 

Yukhei was a mess. And he was so goddamn lost. He didn’t know what to do, what to feel, should he be angry? Maybe not, but he was. So. Angry. With himself, with Mark and with the whole world. Didn’t he make it clear enough he would be Mark’s best friend no matter what? And then all the shit with Jungwoo. Now he really had no one. He just wanted to talk to someone really bad but he wasn’t exactly the person to trust anyone but Mark. But Mark was with Donghyuck and he was probably going to ditch Yukhei’s ass soon anyway. What the hell was Yukhei going to do then? 

Yukhei had walked all the way to his home in record time powered by his frustration. No one was home, as expected, but the cleaner lady had stopped by during the day. He felt his phone vibrate and fished it out of his jacket. It was Mark calling him. Yukhei turned the call down and shut his phone off. He didn’t want to think right now. He wanted to… get away. So he ran upstairs, and for once in his life he was glad they lived in a big house and he had a punching bag in his room. Yukhei turned the volume up in his speakers and let them blare some heartbreaker song as he took his boxing gloves from his closet and started throwing punches at the bag. He didn’t. Want. To. Think. Yet he still couldn’t get the image of Mark kissing Donghyuck out of his head and it made him so fucking mad, why, why, why hadn’t Mark told him even when Yukhei had asked multiple times? Why did Mark think he wasn’t worth the trust? Yukhei punched and punched and punched till his arms strated to burn and continued until his legs finally gave up and he crumpled down on the floor. All of the muscles in his body were shaking. Yukhei sobbed once. He hated himself so damn much. 

 

* * *

 

Yukhei had succesfully avoided Mark the whole week after th incident. He had walked instead of taking the bus, he had sat with his teammates while Mark had sat with Donghyuck and his friends during lunch. He had purposelly missed all of his calls, he had sat with everyone else during classes, he had not waited for him after the training sessions and he had moved his usual locker place next to Jaemin’s. His friends questioned it a little but Yukhei just shrugged his shoulders as a response. Mark gave up after a few times of trying to talk to Yukhei.  
”It’s okay man, you do you”, was the last thing he had told Mark and after that they hadn’t spoken a word. 

And now was their last practice before the first match of the season. Yukhei was still mad, he was the type to hold a grudge. He stomped down the corridor to the rink and skated a few rounds, trying to warm himself up.  
”Okay, team, gather around!” Park yelled and the eleven boys made a half circle around their captain.  
”The match’s tomorrow. We succeeded nice last year, but last year we had our little star Jaehyun with us. Now he’s with the big boys. And because we don’t have him, we gotta do our best, we gotta build our own game and we gotta beat those dogs from the Bulls. You heard me, Aces?” Park’s voice rose along with his speech, he was trying to hype his boys up. It was working on everyone else except Yukhei, but nevertheless he still yelled along with others. It was his job as the moodmaker.  
”We’re not here to lose to some team that’s out of our league. We’re gonna make a league completely our own” (their coach, who was still Johnny snorted from the benches) ”and we’re gonna beat everyone’s ass! Now get your head outta your ass and get it in the game!”  
”Yeah, Wong, get your head out of your ass”, Yukhei heard someone mutter under their breath. He spun around, knowing damn well whose voice it was. 

”The fuck is up, Lee? Why don’t you get your head out of your ass, it’s not a hat!” Yukhei basically yelled at Mark’s face. The shorter boy snapped.  
”Oh, I am being an ass? When you are the one who’s being ignoring me the whole time?” Mark was angry, his head was tilted and he lifted his mask off. Yukhei laughed, but there was no actual joy in the sound. It was empty of all feeling but anger.  
”Yeah. Yeah you’re being an ass. We have known each other for years, Mark! What happened to that promise of telling each other everything! You just started to ignore me completely out of the blue and didn’t tell me anything and then I find you with your tongue down that commentator dudes throat and you keep telling me I am being an ass?!” Yukhei knew he had said too much, Park was trying to calm them down but failed miserably. And now everyone knew about Mark and Donghyuck and now Mark was the furious one and Yukhei didn’t know if he regretted spilling the truth or not.  
”Might have something to do with your attitude, Yukhei!” Mark turned around to face everyone else.  
”And yeah! I’m dating Donghyuck, that cute commentator dude and I don’t give a shit about what anyone of you thinks. Also, if anyone wants to be my new best friend, the applications are open!” Yukhei’s mind went blank. 

And he punched Mark straight in the face. 

Mark stumbled back and fell on the ice, Yukhei could hear some shouts behind him, but before anyone got to the pair of bestfriends in distress, Mark had got up and lunged towards Yukhei with a closed fist. Yukhei’s helmet flied off in the impact and both of them fell on the ice. Mark’s hockey gloves made contact with Yukhei’s jaw and Yukhei kicked Mark on the stomach with his knee before throwing a punch somewhere around his head. Jaemin tried to pry Mark off of Yukhei but got an elbow in his guts.  
”Dudes, fellas, please!” Park was no use either. Yukhei punched forward a few times, Mark’s helmet also fell off and then the shorter one punched Yukhei with vigor and Yukhei’s head fell back against the ice and the taste of blood burst into his mouth. Then came the pain, sharp and intense and Yukhei grunted. Mark stopped punching when Yukhei’s blows stopped and he rolled on the ice next to the tall one to stare at the seiling. Yukhei saw stars for a couple of moments

And then he snorted and bursted out laughing, coughing blood at the same time. Mark looked at his friend partially amazed of how dumb he was before cracking up too. The other team stared at them, confused. Yukhei turned to his side and spat blood and half of a tooth on the ice. Mark laughed even harder before taking his hockey gloves off and standing up, still giggling.  
”You’re so fucking dumb.” He said to Yukhei and helped him up. Yukhei smiled at him, which was not a pretty sight since is mouth was full of blood, and spat on the ground once again. The blood was flowing down his chin to his hockey shirt. The taller one looked at their beloved coach who just sighed and rolled his eyes.  
”Start playing. I’m taking these two to the E.R.”

 

* * *

 

There they were, sitting in full hockey gear excluding skates and Yukhei had a paper towel in his mouth. It didn’t do much, the blood just kept dripping from his broken tooth and split lower lip. Mark had really punched the shit out of him. But maybe he had deserved it.  
”I’m sorry.” Yukhei broke the silence mumbling through the towel. They were the only ones in the waiting room. Johnny had gone back to the hall and told the two of them not to return before they had made up.  
”No I’m sorry.” Mark mumbled back. God Yukhei hated being sentimental and vulnerable. ”I should have told you, you’re right. I was just… I don’t know. Afraid I guess?” Yukhei glanced at Mark and their eyes met. No games this time, Mark wasn’t avoiding him anymore.  
”Yeah, you should have. But I shouldn’t have spilled it out like that and punched you.”  
”Well, to be honest, we both deserved that ass beating.” Yukhei snorted. The silence between them was a little more comfortable now. 

”You know, you’re still my best friend even if youre gay. Doesn’t change a thing.” Mark looked at Yukhei a little surprised; ”But I’m still offended you didn’t tell me.”  
”Yeah… I didn’t know how you would react since you’re the straightest hetero ever.” Mark stared at his hands and chewed his lip.  
”Am I?” Yukhei asked, more of himself than Mark. Mark turned at him even more surprised now.  
”What?”  
”What?”  
”What do you mean by ’am I’?”  
”Oh, nothing.”  
”Yukhei.”  
”Okay, okay. I don’t know. I just… How did you feel when you started… liking Donghyuck?” Yukhei looked a little lost and very much like a kicked puppy.  
”Uhh, I don’t know, how do you usually feel when you like someone? A thousand fireworks, that what’s it felt like. And since Donghyuck was everywhere all the time I just kept getting these butterflies and I just knew I liked him.”  
”Ohh.”  
”Why are you asking, you, out of all people in the world?”  
”I… uhm… well, you know. That tutor guy. He just keeps on blushing and stuttering whenever we meet and… it’s uhhh kind of cute I guess?”  
”Kind of cute?” Yukhei just kept surprising Mark (and now he felt really guilty since he knew what Yukhei was like about any kind of love interest, let alone a boy, he must have been quite a mess lately and Mark wasn’t there for him. But now he was).  
”Okay he’s pretty damn cute. I can’t focus on our lessons.” Mark giggled at his friend who was clearly annoyed at himself.  
”I hope those best friend applications are closed, by the way.” Yukhei grinned at Mark the best he could with a split lip.  
”They weren’t really open in the first place anyway.” Mark grinned back. Yukhei was called by the nurse and he rose from his seat.  
”Don’t shit in your pants, wuss.” Mark winked after him. Yukhei showed him the middle finger. 

 

* * * 

 

”I can’t feew my fawe.” Yukhei mumbled when he returned from the dentist.  
”Local anaesthesia?” Mark asked, smirking. Yukhei nodded. His corner of the eye was turning blue and swelling and his lower lip was twice the size as per usual. And they had a fucking match tomorrow.  
”You know wha? I’m gonna awk Jhungwoo outh.” Yukhei took his phone from his bomber’s pocket and typed a text before Mark could stop him.  
”No, Yukhei, those are the meds talki-”  
”I’m gonna awk him ouh, don’th even thry to htop me. Dhere. I did ith. I’m gonna wegwet thih lader.”


End file.
